Blinded With Glasses.

Blinded with glasses.
By, Ellie Ringo.
Have you ever met someone that completely captivates you? Someone that lifts you up everyday? I’ve met that person, her name is Sophia Walls. She is beauty beyond compare with wavy long brown hair that any girl dreamed of, tan skin that most girls wish to achieve and dark brown eyes that I could stare into all day. Sophia could reel anyone in with that smile, and her kind demeanor towards everyone. We met in the fifth grade, she asked me to play soccer with all the kids as I sat alone against the fence post, and we became friends ever since. I have always looked up to her, throughout middle school and even now as a senior in high school, but sometimes that visible parasite clinging onto her luxurious tan skin makes my gears turn the wrong way. I watch him pull her into a hug and tell her all these things that I’ve told her, “I love you.” Or, “want to come over tonight?” Sophia would smile and just giggle and tell him. “Of course.” She would then catch me after my 5th period and ask if we can cancel those Friday night plans we had, and I would smile and say, “sure! Another time.” I don’t know why those continuous words keep coming out of my mouth, I feel like I’m a repeating echo but she always ends up coming over anyway, sobbing on my front doorstep. As she crawled into my arms and sobbed, and I rubbed her back comforting her as she began to bawl about the parasite. “Why did he do that? I trusted him!”
“You can trust me.” I would say softly.
“I know I can trust you.” Sophia would respond. “But, I loved him!”
I was about to open my mouth, but shut it quickly, I should know my place as the best friend but the way she held onto me and cried made me feel as though I’m getting in too deep. We do this almost every week, and she still continues to chase that jackass who hurt her. I don’t understand, I don’t think I ever will. Sophia would always end up falling asleep in my room, I’d look at her tear stained face and put my smaller hand along her cheek bone and anxiously pull away as if she was awake. My heart would race, every time. Every time it started running I had to clear my head and tell myself that it could never be. Remember, don’t step out of line, you’re the best friend. I curl up onto the floor of my bedroom, letting the princess have the bed because once again, I’m the best friend. The next morning she would wake up and act like nothing ever happened, if it was a weekday, she would ask to borrow my clothes then walk to school with me. Eventually she would abandon me for the parasite who infected her the previous night. Weekends were no different, she’d tell me “thanks for letting me stay over!” I would smile and nod my head, as if it was nothing. She’d then get into the 1997 Corvette the Parasite drove. She would get in and kiss him before he drove away from my house. He makes me want to key that stupid car, I want to see that red paint scratched, I want to see his window shattered, like my heart. But stop, I’m the best friend. I can’t do that, I don’t want to anger her. Her goddess complexion would be ruined if I made her mad, and I don’t want that. I don’t think anyone does. I continue to spend the rest of my day curled up on my bed. It smelled like her, it smelled like a nursery of flowers after a spring bloom. I would melt away in that scent, if only I could be like that parasite that often got to touch the skin that possessed the smell. If only I got to hold it like him. I keep having to remind myself that I’m the best friend. Best friends don’t do that. I would spend the rest of those weekends alone, until she’d text asking me, ‘Can you pick me up?’ Of course I sprung up like a happy dog, willing to go to the ends of the earth for her. I would drive my beat up 2004 Toyota Camry to the location she sent me. It wasn’t the usual location, it was different. I pulled up and looked at the house, a party. I didn’t mind not being invited, but I saw Sophia from across the driveway, stumbling to get into the car. I raised an eyebrow, “are you okay?”
“I’m fine!” She would smile, her face was red and alcohol had filled her breath. I get it now, she was intoxicated. No wonder she needed a ride. I was on the way back to her house but she stopped me. “Stop.” She said. I figured she had gotten sick and needed me to pull over, so I pulled over against a curb in front of someone’s lawn. I turned my head, “yeah are you feeling okay?” I asked her.
“Can we go back to your house instead?” She said, softly smiling.
“You really need to get home though, you don’t seem well.” I responded, concerned. “I think it’s-” she stopped me and grabbed my skinny white face. She placed her lips against mine, I could taste the alcohol off of her. It was bitter, not my style. I don’t know why, why didn’t I pull away? Am I crazy? I stood there in shock, and let it happen and I did the one thing I shouldn’t have and that was take her to my house. She dragged me inside, knowing the layout of my house like a mouse looking for the cheeze in an 8th grade science project. Sophia started to undress herself, clinging onto me. I shook my head in disbelief, I knew I shouldn’t have but I did. I let myself get too far ahead and you know where that goes. Once again, she ended up falling asleep in my bed, but this time she was undressed. I put a hand on my head and sobbed into my hands, I’m the best friend and I have just committed a sin with a goddess. I wiped my stained eyes and fell asleep next to her. Usually she would wake up in a good mood, not that morning. She woke up and looked at me as if she was about to vomit. “Are you hungover?” I asked, handing her a trash can that I kept next to my bed. Sophia looked away from me and got up, getting dressed, I was getting ignored. I smiled, “Sophia..?” I said. Sophia turned her head and looked me dead into the eyes as if she was about to kill me. Her face shrunk into my veins and my body panicked.
“You’re disgusting.” She said to me. My smile slowly faded, I was so confused. Did she mean that?
“What do you mean..?” I asked, my voice was coarse, as if I was about to cry.
She laughed and put a hand on her head, pushing her long brown hair back. “Do you not get it, Belle?” Sophia asked, her eyes like slits and her face looked down on me. “You took advantage of me while I was drunk and I have a boyfriend!” She yelled, “also you’re a girl. Do you possibly think I would ever do something like that with a girl let alone love one?” I was about to open my mouth to defend myself but nothing was coming out. She continued, “you’re so disgusting. I should’ve listened to James, he was right about you. You’re a..” she said a word that I would’ve never thought would come out of a pure soul like her. I sat there, hopeless as she continued to degrade me and eventually left. I got up, shaken and looked into my bathroom mirror, hanging over the cold, white edge of the sinks countertop and cried again. Why would she say that about me? I thought she cared. She always was there, so why? Was it so wrong to be in love with her? I guess she is right though, we could never be because I was never in the picture to begin with. I was so blinded by this goddess beauty that I never opened my eyes to realize I was nothing but a tool in her hands. A tool that did whatever she wanted, something only a goddess could have. I looked up from the bathroom mirror and wiped my tears, staring at myself. My short bleached blonde hair, my pale white skin and blue eyes, my black glasses that stood on the bridge of my nose, my chest and skinny body. I smiled, realizing I never had a chance. Sophia was right, I am disgusting. I stood there and realized I was the parasite to her, but I was so blinded. Blinded by her beauty and how she talked, how she walked, dressed, did her hair, and appreciated me. But don’t worry, I’ll be okay from here, I’m going to get my vision checked again on Thursday so I can finally see what I’ve been missing.